BECOMING A LADY

Deciding to change your old ways is pretty damn difficult... It's not an easy transition going from a girl who uses slang words, dresses sloppy in tights and who is way too much, to becoming a lady. I'm not saying I want to change my personality, but I would definitely like to fine tune it. There comes a time when you reach womanhood and I guess want to stop looking and acting like a teenager, well for me at least. So I guess quarantine is the perfect time to do this.

Developing the way I speak is my first step, this is the most difficult thing to do. I have been speaking so poorly for so many years that to change it now takes some real work. I want to be able to pronounce my words perfectly, as well as articulating my words. I realize that this process has started allowing me to have somewhat of a British accent, it's weird, but the British are a lot more well-spoken than South Africans. Trying to stop using words like; "boet", "hectic", "nee"... these need to go. Developing this skill will help me with presentations and sales on the ships when I finally go. Learning new words is also a part of this process, which is exciting.

Then it is on to hygiene. Now I am not saying that I am not hygienic, but I have started taking better care of my skin and body. Watching what I put in and on my body. I am still getting into the skincare routine, finally figuring out what my skin needs and what works best for it. My friend is actually helping with process, God bless her, because she has seen my skin through it all. I have a lot of congestion in my jawline area, as well as on my back, it makes me so self-conscious. I have started drinking a lot of water during the day (which makes me go to the bathroom every 5 seconds, but it's worth it). At the moment I'm using the brand "Rooibos" which is really good, but once I start earning more money, I would like to invest in better brands. I am also trying to figure out which hair products work for me. Right now I really enjoy using the L'Oreal shampoo and conditioner. My hair is bleached but not as damaged as I've had before. I'm looking to change my hair colour to a more natural looking blonde, I'm not sure.

My look... now this is a big one for me, especially since I studied fashion. The aesthetic that I am currently wearing is very black and grunge style, which is not very lady-like. I want to go for a look that is on the complete opposite spectrum, a classic look, very nude and vintage, feminine. This will take a while to create since the R100.00 note I planted as a kid never produced anything...urgh. But I have started putting look books and inspiration boards up for myself to inspire myself not to just spend my money on everything and anything I can get my hands on. Spending money is such a bad habit of mine, I am finally learning how to save and budget. When speaking about my look, I do also mean my nails, brows and lashes. Before lock down I made the effort to get my nails done once a month. I'm very simple, I always getting something nude and simple (I'm always worried that if I get colour or patterns on my nails that it will clash with whatever I am wearing). But always making sure that my nails are clean and neat is a priority for me. I also made the effort of getting my lashes done, but I think I want to find a more natural way of growing my lashes instead, since every time I get my lashes done the fake ones always rip out my real ones, leaving me looking like a naked mole rat. I have started getting my brows shaped, but now looking to rather go for micro-blading.

I am also working on the way I treat people, mostly when I have my mood swings because that is when I need the most help... I am working on being kind, caring, gentle, considerate and friendly (I am already these things, but like I said, my moods sometimes get the better of me). So I have been focusing on listening before I speak, thinking before I act, and putting myself in others situations. Most of my life I was bullied and I have only in the last year realized that when somebody treats you badly, it is not a reflection of you, but rather a reflection of their personality. This saying helps you think about the way your treat others. It reminds you that you have control over the way that you react to situations and helps you to remember to be a better person. Emma Watson is one of my biggest role models, and she said once, "If not me, who? If not now, when?" I live by these words.

I haven't touched alcohol or a cigarette for as long as I can remember, but one thing I do need to stop doing is cursing. I honestly do it uncontrollably, but this goes back to thinking before speaking. Lately, I'm not going to lie, I have been doing pretty well on this frontier. I am also consistently growing and learning new things. At the moment I've been learning how to play the ukulele. Quarantine has also allowed me to start reading again which I never knew I missed this much. I do have a slight problem though, my math has gone to wreck, I am so worried. The one night, and this is such a depressing story, I was making dinner for the four of us... I cut 4 potatoes into 4 wedges (I feel like I'm writing up a Math Lit question) and somehow, in my right mind, worked that out to mean we each have 8 wedges. I honestly am shook at how dumb I was in that very moment. Can you even? I think I'm getting dumber in quarantine. Either way, I have also been using this quarantine to exercise, because your mental health is linked to your physical health. I jog in the mornings and then I do about a 20 minute workout using the 30 day challenge app... it murders me every time. I have seen a significant change in my body which is amazing, the only way I was able to see it was by taking pictures and creating a folder on my phone to track my progress (I'm not going to show it now, I'll do another post later on when I'm a bit more comfortable).

I'll keep you updated on this process. It's going to be interesting.