THE COMPANY WE KEEP

1 Corinthians 15:33

Don't be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals."

Now if this isn't the truth. As they say, monkey say, monkey do. For most of my life, and I am pretty sure I have touched base on this in one of my previous posts, I was a people-pleaser, and damn did it take over my life. I am so lucky to have finally changed this characteristic of mine, and yes, there is still a big part of me that hates letting people down, but I have found a way to recognize when someone is stealing my peace. For many years I entertained people who constantly brought me down, who abused me emotionally and mentally, and who had a devastatingly bad influence on me. God doesn't want us surrounding ourselves with people who steal our peace, people who inevitably push you further and further from Him and His calling, even when we don't realize that this is what they are doing.

In Highschool I got involved in a crowd that you could have called the Baddies, and not in a cool, trendy way. They would sneak away in lunch to go smoke cigarettes and weed. Who constantly spoke about their sex life and who made it seem more desirable than anything else. I knew that these conversations made me extremely uncomfortable, but the more I tolerated and entertained these conversations, the more I started to think, "Damn, maybe it is cool and maybe it's okay." Spending time with these girls slowly influenced how I viewed my morals and values and I let them slip through my fingers without any idea it was actually happening. As soon as I did something that went against what they were doing, they turned on me and it was brutal. I was bullied by them for the rest of my matric year and it made it unbearable.

Come University, I again chose poorly and hung out with girls that constantly made it seem okay to have sex before marriage. It's like I didn't learn my lesson, and well actually I didn't even realize that the people around me had such a massive impact on me. I got onto tinder, and well spiraled down. I started working in bars where it started becoming normal to get drunk, keep in mind that before I started working in clubs I actually didn't drink at all... the last drink I'd had was when I had my accident and that was a one time thing. I prided myself in not drinking at all, and then things changed. I got blackout drunk every single weekend. Eventually needing more money, I started working in more bars, more nights a week and would drink in order to stay awake. I never surrounded myself with Christian people who were a good influences. All my friends, whether Christian or not, were not making great life decisions, we were all going through a lot. I didn't have a good example to follow, and I definitely wasn't one.

Only recently when I started choosing God as the head of my heart and actually allowing him to change my life, did I start surrounding myself with good people. I found that when I started chasing God, immediately I attracted Christian people who have now become my rocks. My friends and I have started supporting each other in growing our relationships in Christ and actually started keeping each other in check. I find that now I can no longer tolerate or indulge in talks of sexual activity and many other things.

Last year was the year that I decided to cut the ties with a few of my "friends" for the time being. It doesn't have to be forever, but sometimes you need to distance yourself from the people who are pulling you away from your purpose, or your relationship with God. It was so difficult. All I wanted was to have lots of friends that I could count on and who could count on me... Constantly trying to fix their problems instead of my own. That's another thing that matters, when you are going through your own trials and tribulations, you cannot put yourself in a situations like I did and try to fix other people's problems instead of focusing on your own. The bible says that we help others through our testimonies, which literally means that you must first overcome your own trials with God in order to help others through theirs. You can only give from an overflowing cup.

Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

You need to surround yourself with like-minded people. People who you strive to be like, that inspire you, and people who are constantly pushing you to be your best self. I am so thankful for my friends and how understanding they are. When I became an alcoholic and eventually decided that I wanted to stop drinking, they were really supportive and we would make other arrangements to spend time together rather than going out and partying. I love that the friendships I have allow me to grow with them and not apart from them. Surround yourself with people you can grow with, not with people who expect you to help them grow and who worship the narcissistic trilogy, ME, MYSELF and I. You know who they are, you feel uncomfortable, the friendship doesn't sit right on your heart.

When I was ending these friendships, and everyone is different...I decided to tell them. I am not the kind of person who likes to just stop talking to someone with no reason, because I hate when people do that to me. I sent them messages letting them know that for this specific season I couldn't cope or handle our friendship, I did it with love, but I can imagine they were hurt by it (and if you're one of the people and you're reading this, I am sorry for the hurt I caused you). I just feel like I would rather say something than leave it hanging and just ignore them. I don't really know if there is a right way of cutting people out of your life, I just know that you need to do it with love and understanding. Not everyone will understand you, but you need to do it for yourself, not for them.

HOW DO I FIND CHRISTIAN FRIENDS? SOLUTION TIME...

1. There is the obvious option of going to Church and getting involved, but during this quarantine period it isn't really an option.

2. Spend time with God and he will bring people into your life.

3. I, personally, have a group of girls that are becoming my family, which I lead in Bible studies, if you would like to join send me a message.

4. There are lots of people who are becoming more open and public about Christianity on social media platforms. Reach out to them. Network.

5. THIS IS THE BIG ONE... You need God's help, that's obvious, ask him to connect you to like-hearted and like-spirited people, and allow him to work in you and around you.