A WISE WOMAN ONCE SAID

After my last blog post, my gran sent me some amazing advice. She told me that good looking guys are nearly all players, because girls throw themselves at them. Girls are attracted to them because of their confidence, but the ones to marry are the sensible Godly men who will treat you good and love you and think that you are very special. They are also good days and husbands. Then she said something that us ladies need to take in, all guys want to sleep with every girl in the world, it is how God created them so that they could populate the world.

So how do we go about finding these men, the good ones I mean? I think it is all about learning how to break old habits. This comes with self-love and knowing your self-worth. This is not an easy task... but let me start off by saying you are enough, you are worthy and you are loved by God.

Breaking old habits is like coming clean from an addiction. It is a continuous process and takes a lot of practice.Think about it this way though, if you know your self-worth, you are able to know what you deserve. I don't just mean relationship wise, but also when it comes to friendships.

The first step to learning the art of breaking old habits, like with any addiction, is to admit that the habit needs to be dealt with. Write it down and let the healing process begin. First thing you need to do is to rid yourself of the things in your life that are causing you to continuously fall into these bad habits. This means: no more Tinder, no more posting revealing pictures on the instagrizzle (because let's be real, we only do it for the likes), no more hanging out with those friends that sleep around and hook up with different guys every weekend, who drink and do drugs, and basically revolve their lives around the next party. You need to start surrounding yourself with like-minded people who are also wanting to grow and find their self-worth and focus on their self-love. People who want to help support you and grow with you into the best version of yourself that you can be.

Then please do yourselves a favor and find out what your love languages are. I spoke about these briefly in my "No Honey" blog post, but it is so much more important than you think it would. You need to give yourself this love! I researched a few ways in which you could do this.

If your love language is physical touch (please, let's not be nasty, I am not saying touch yourself), here are a few things you could do:

- Focus on your skincare routine (I have actually started selling products to help you do just this)

- Enjoy a cup of tea (I don't understand this one, but okay)

- Exercise

- Take a bubble bath

- Eat healthy

- Get someone to play with your hair or get your hair done

- Get a massage (BY A PROFESSIONAL, NOT SOME HUNGRY MANS)

If your love language is quality time, then:

- Take yourself on a date (this is one of my favourite things to do. It was really weird at first, but after you realize no-one actually cares that you're alone, it is the best thing ever)

- Enjoy the sunset

- Spend time with God

- Watch a meaningful movie you enjoy

- Get into art... paint, draw, make some clay sculptures

- Start a garden

- Go on a hike

- Start doing something you love (I started Ballet)

If your love language is acts of service, then:

- Set monthly goals

- Declutter and tidy up your place

- Keep a habit tracker

- Donate to a charity or help out

- Meal prep your lunches

If your love language is words of affirmation, then:

- Keep a gratitude journal

- Recite some positive affirmations

- Watch TED Talks and motivational videos

- Compliment yourself

- One of my own: Write down what God says about you on sticky notes and place them where you can see them (Go read my "Identity In Christ" blog post to find these)

If your love language is receiving gifts, then:

- Invest in your hobbies

- Make yourself a calming self-care kit

- Treat yourself and go buy something nice

- Enroll in a fun class

Draw close to God. He is your Creator who knew you before you were formed in the womb. Spend time in His word and learn about Him. When you realize how much He loves you and how much He has done for you, you will understand that you are worth it ALL. And please understand that I did not find my self-love and my self-worth on my own. I made the decision to go for Christian Counselling so I could get the help and support I needed. To get the proper guidance. Especially if this is the first time you have made the decision to change yourself for the absolute best. Admit that you need help and that you cannot do it on your own. Look for someone to help guide you. If need be, you can contact me.

"Be brave enough to take off the masks you wear out there and get to know who you are underneath. Be vulnerable enough to accept and cherish your strengths. Don't minimize or hide them... They are your beautiful gifts to share with the world. Be brave enough to say, you know what, all of this is who I am. I make so many mistakes. I can be forgetful, I am messy. But... I am doing my best with what I've got. And I am so proud of that. I am so proud of me. And I am proud of who I am becoming." - Nikki Banas