WHEN IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE

May it be my life's story that God's grace and faithfulness never ends. May it be a story of a girl who, even when it didn't make sense, trusted wholeheartedly in God.

Recently, I read the story of the rich man who came to Jesus and asked him how he could get to heaven. Jesus responded saying, "Well, you've heard it said that you should follow the 10 commandments." The rich man responded, "Yes, I have followed each one." But Jesus, knowing the true nature of the man's heart asked him, "sell all your possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow me." The rich man walked away sad because he had many possessions. It wasn't so much about the fact that we should all sell everything we have and follow him, however Jesus knew the posture of that man's heart and that he was idolising his worldly possessions more than Jesus.

After reading this story, I was inspired, not convicted, but inspired. I realised how my heart longs to leave everything behind to follow Jesus. I want to be like Peter and Andrew and leave my world behind and follow him.

Now with this new journey I'm embarking on it is extremely difficult not to worry about money. I started off last month working two jobs, the LIV job (the charity), and the recruitment job. I thought to myself that I would earn my living with the recruitment position and just serve at LIV without worrying about the money. I didn't realize that this is not God's desire. Sometimes we may think things are what God has intended, but we can sometimes mistake our own thinking for that.

I attended a beautiful conference where missionaries, men who spend their lives on missions spoke about what it is that they have experienced on these trips. One thing they mentioned that struck me was that when you live a life on mission for Christ, it is no longer about the money. It is no longer a life that looks like the rest of the world. You rely on God's provision. I felt there and then that maybe my thinking was incorrect because working both jobs I wasn't able to put 100% into either of them. I couldn't focus on the recruitment because I had too much to do with LIV, and I was distracted from LIV because I had meetings I needed to attend and was worried about not making placements with the recruitment. I knew God was asking me to let the recruitment position go, but just to be sure, I prayed about it. I prayed that God would reveal to me what he wanted me to do so that I do not lean on my own understanding. I opened my bible and I am busy reading the gospel of Luke, and let me just tell you how good God is and how kind he is! Here was the scripture I read:

Luke 12:22-34

Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. Look at the ravens. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can't accomplish a little thing like that, what' the use of worrying over bigger things? Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? And don't be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don't worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need. So don't be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to those in need. This will store up treasures for you in Heaven! And the purses of Heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe; no thief can steal it and no moth can destroy it. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be."

Now, how insane is that? How kind is our Heavenly Father? He so easily could have scolded me for not trusting in him, but that is not how he is with his children? He instead reminds us of how much he loves us and will provide for our every need. I have decided that every time I start to worry about money, I will immediately tithe. This will be my physical way of handing it over to him, because I will not allow money to become a stumbling block in my life. God will be my refuge and my strength. Even when it doesn't make sense. Even when I physically cannot afford to give it to him, I will do so and allow God the beautiful honor of receiving all the glory and the testimony.

My prayer for you is that you are not overcome with the worries of this world and that you are reminded of how much God loves you and that he will provide for your every need.